I snorted and sank further underneath my cherry-red duvet. This was a profile on Minder, a Muslim dating app that mimics Tinder but is aimed at helping Western Muslims find a spouse. The guy advertising for halal sex whatever that entails was an exception; most of the other profiles seemed pretty chaste. This stems from how most traditional Muslim parents, like mine, believe in a restricted code of conduct between men and women. Western dating norms are too relaxed for their standards. I come from a long line of arranged marriages. Once I graduated from college and landed my first real job, my parents were ready for me to get hitched. So far, I have resisted. I hate the notion of an arranged marriage.
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Also, let’s not forget that men are allowed to marry out of the religion. In today’s world, I don’t see why women shouldn’t be able to either! Men are no longer.
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There is a lot of baggage that comes with marrying an Arab man. The American reference point for this part of the world is limited to what they see in movies and what is on the news. Sure there are some Americans who have been to this part of the world but they are few and far between. I really wish I would have kept a notebook with all of the comments I have received over the years. One of the most surprising facts for many Americans I’ve spoken with is the fact that there are Muslim and Christian Arabs, and that Christian Arabs shock use Arabic for their services and in fact use the word Allah for God.
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Along with the co-creators Ari Katcher and Ryan Welch, Youssef explores the complexities of being a religious man from an immigrant family with wry humor and a dash of surrealism. In these scenes, the show reveals a more myopic perspective through its disparate treatment of Muslim women, characters often boxed into stereotypes with no recourse to develop as fully realized individuals. Despite his low expectations, the date goes well, with the pair making plans to see each other again.
Those arrangements, however, are upended by an intimate encounter gone comically wrong, when Ramy is taken aback by the lustful forthrightness of the woman he was initially charmed by. Her frustration is valid. What am I supposed to say?
Some women in Canada’s Muslim community who learned their advised him to marry (nikah) the woman to avoid commiting the sin of.
There is Tinder. And then there is Tinder just for Muslims. The running joke among my friends is that I have never seen a circumcised penis. But that aside, my mom often reminds me that marrying a non-Muslim would bring laanat damnation, ruin to the family. The dilemma is mind-boggling. The search and the saga continue. Finally, I thought, I can bring home a Muslim man to my mother. This is what I had been waiting for. I registered on the app with the simplest of bios and a photo.
A few hours later, I received a congratulatory message from Minder. Here was a Muslim, halal dating app and it meant I could now go on to find the momin true believer of my dreams. Flirting is very Islamic. Very halal. It is not overt.
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Sign up for their newsletter here. Every so often, he peered over his shoulder, just in case someone was still awake and could come into his room. May Allah, the greatest, the most kind, the most merciful, forgive me.
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